Letting grief move

Shortly after starting the blog, my dear grandmother passed away. So many things come up in time of such loss. In this particular case, I was particularly saddened by the fact that I didn’t have the chance to say my good bye in person. Though she was 92, my grandmother still had so much life in her eyes; so much joy in her spirit, so, so much love to give. When I received the call that it was time to come home, I had a chance to talk with her on the phone. I was both afraid and overjoyed to be talking with her.

What came out of my mouth were memories, gratitude, sharing of her impact in my life and so much love. I found myself inviting her to enjoy each and every moment of this life; I talked about how I couldn’t wait to see her. I shared with her how much she meant to me; and how she had impacted my spiritual journey for the good. Then, she asked me to pray. I realized in that moment that it didn’t matter if her divine source was different than mine–we truly are all connected. I was so thankful to experience that connection as it was the last I had with her while she was alive.

In the days that followed, I tried to be open to the beginning of my grieving process. I wanted to be open, to be real, to be vulnerable, to feel ALL of it. I experienced anxiety, sadness, shock, love, gratitude, joy and connection. I am still cycling through those feelings and what I continue to be invited into is simply to letting it flow. To honor myself and my grandmother by trusting this process, by living into the security she had in the Universe. Thank you grandma for the love, joy, passion, and security you have left with all of us. I will miss you and love you always.

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